Heyo, Mrs. Amanda!
"Was it a message from within? Or above? Is there even a difference?" She is everyday intuition, PERSONIFIED
Her name is Amanda Salmon, but I’ll always think of her as Amanda Johnson, one of the funniest, smartest people I’ve ever known. We met in middle school and she routinely had me in stitches rolling on the actual (filthy) floor of Forrest Grove. She is one of those girls where clichés like, “All the boys wanted to date her, all the girls wanted to be her” is actually TRUE!
As readers of this little missive know, I’ve interviewed experts galore— neuroscientists, gastroenterologists, statisticians, psychics, psychologists, FBI hostage negotiators, and on and on— but the most vital and useful insights in the book come from regular schmegular people who have developed a relationship with their intuition and learned to trust it. Amanda is GOALZ when it comes to that and we can all learn from her!!! Behold below our conversation (which has been lightly edited for length and clarity), and take notes, mortals! Mrs. Amanda is an intuitive goddess.
What is intuition to you?
Intuition is my homegirl. Instinct. It’s my higher & best self. It's the Omni connection to Purpose. Alignment. Home. It's that inner voice that's hard to explain. Angels, guides. These are the words that ring true for me to describe intuition.
How does it show up for you?
The way this shows up for me is tied to spirituality and my guiding ethos, that everything is happening FOR me and my growth and not TO me. So I am constantly seeking to understand why and how certain things or people show up, so I always notice synchronicities, and patterns. I have come to discover that that first ‘HIT’, that gut instinct, is intuition showing up.
Intuition, for me, I notice is simple. Usually 1 or 2 words. Intuition is not a run-on sentence (that’s anxiety). It’s calm. It leads.
Trusting and knowing my intuition is also being able to firmly Know, that sometimes I have no friggin’ clue at all why things happen, and that I surrender fully to trust, and remain Open to allow my intuition to guide me to next steps. I’ve started to trust in the fact that when I’ll need to know something, I will in divine time. I can release control of when or how. I’ve learned over the years that always trying to analyze and seek meaning about every little thing is the antithesis of intuition and is just crazy making. Anxiety is created when I scramble to overexplain or force understanding.
I have come to learn to know the difference between anxiety and intuition by noticing where it is coming from. Is it in the head, or body? Usually the body will be more where intuition lives for me, the GUT. As girls in the US of A know- it's a whole complicated journey back to our bodies, and even being able to recognize and feel what's going on in our bodies is so hard and sometimes confusing, since we learn to spend so many years being detached from it. After an awakening of sorts in my late 20s/30s, I was able to return to my body (spurred by a decade of reading a ton, working with a variety of women coaches and spiritual teachers)- now I am more clear on how intuition feels…which means ultimately being able to Trust myself. This brings so much Peace in my day to day life.
How do you use it in your daily life?
Because I’ve made progress on this journey to learn to Trust myself and check in my body for answers, there is just less anxiety, ambiguity, chaos. Developing and recognizing my intuition feels like a big warm hug of knowing it will all work out, I’ll figure it out, even in a struggle or hard times- I’ll get what I need. This is a new feeling for me, that I’ve really noticed the last couple years of my 40s. Its shows up as confidence in my daily life. I’ll notice that first hit - and use it to guide my next steps.
What are some challenges to your intuition?
The Challenges of not being able to follow, respect or fully tap into my Intuition show up when the internalized colonial, capitalistic and misogynic experience of being a woman on this planet violently butts heads with it!! So often many of us women folk tell ourselves, we are crazy, overreacting, hormonal, literally berate and belittle ourselves! These cultural habits I think are why most of my life it has been hard to Trust that inner voice. Now in my forties, I can practice understanding which is which when it comes to many parts of my life.... except when it comes to my kids.
For me, when it comes to making decisions to allow my kids to experience freedom and more independence as they get older— like to go to friends houses, walk home from school–- it’s hard to differentiate between, rational or irrational fear or intuition. It also gets all jumbled up alongside the billion hours of true crime I’ve ingested too. I usually allow my kids independence. But it involves an awful lot of telling myself to relax and calm down and incessantly worrying and checking in and their location. I’m not totally sure if worrying less, and using intuition more will be possible in this arena for me. It’s bonkers being a mom in the year of our lord 2025. I’m one of the people that do think we all have our individual quests and lessons to get in a lifetime and everything happens for a reason blah blah blah…and I tell myself my kids have their own journeys, but it's still a jumbled mess in this area– the anxiety / intuition line with them is still murky. I’m really focusing on sharing the tools I have learned to recognize their own intuition.
[Ed note: SO REAL!]
Do you have a crazy story in which you trusted your intuition to startling effect?
I've never felt intuition so strongly as with ‘knowing’ I had to get Sober. The start of my 18 years of being drug and alcohol free came about in a single moment, with what I describe as a tidal wave of strong intuition when I was just 23. I was listening to a Van Morrison song called “Foreign Window” on a plane to LA. The lyrics “If you get it right this time, you don’t have to come back” were a sudden Knowing, a feeling of having a warm, yet a very heavy something in my chest, that nothing will ever be the same. I had to give up alcohol forever. There was no tossing it back in forth- I just knew that this was my purpose on this planet. Sounds so corny. Was it a message from within? Or above? Is there even a difference? Still not sure. It was as if I'd finally arrived after thousands of journeys. I wept. I was anxious for months. For years. But the message was clear and received. It was all I needed. Some work the AA program, like getting a sponsor, for me, was deep deep knowing this was the only way. I required lots of help and support to move through the feelings, and anxiety over the years. But it was at that moment intuition guided me in this direction, and to follow that message took courage, TRUST. The message itself was simple, clear.
I mean the same sort of feeling can be ascribed to knowing that I would be with the love of my life. It’s a cheesy love story that started in middle school and I “knew” he was the one. Lots of young teenage hearts say this, but I remember the intuition being so LOUD when I was young. It was a classic tale of forbidden lovers whose lives went in wildly different directions apart from each other- only to then find each other a decade later in the City of Angels. We found each other, just like intuition said we would. So much anxiety, longing, pain and sobbing to Fiona Apple in that decade of not knowing details of when, or how- but it was always there- that he was the one. It would've been hard to decipher delulu or intuition during this time- but I guess the outcome can now explain it! Once together again, I chose this soulmate over other people’s opinions, family and friendships- -It was just like the feeling on the plane— this was the direction I needed to go. Twenty years later, I’m so grateful for listening and following that intuition.
But I gotta mention the horror and crazy making of hormones that women go through toooooo, how they impede the Knowing, and knowing what the hell is going on in general - jeez, this was a HUGE BARRIER to recognizing intuition. Again, it comes with knowing and understanding our bodies, our cycles- so many of us don’t have this information which helps us understand the difference. Being jacked up on birth control, having children, and the recovery,, getting older, not having the right nutrients/diet, which cause depression and anxiety- keep us detached and out of alignment with our higher selves, and having us believe the lies those experiences tell us about ourselves. I needed help. Support. Community. Information in order to find my way back home, back to balance, homeostasis to access my homegirl, highest self, more clearly. I would say that focusing on physical health is a portal to recognizing and working with intuition more.
What is your top tip for enhancing intuitive ability?
Shut up. Get Still.
This is how I was taught! In American culture so much is invested in us not understanding or recognizing our true selves, or intuition. Step away from the consumerism of developing intuition. If you are on your journey back to yourself, let me save the thousands I spent…you don’t need the exclusive 10 day trip to Costa Rica led by a white lady with dreadlocks! You don’t need ALL the crystals, ( I think some help though! Get you some selenite and rose quartz!) You don’t need to spend $5000 on a Tony Robbins or ayahuasca weekend. You have it. You have everything you need. Can you be brave enough to get still? To simply BE with yourself, and not DO intuition? It’s like a muscle that I work on everyday- can be developed through meditation, journaling, oracle cards and simply noticing what's happening in your body, or even some good therapy or a life changing book.
Another tip I would suggest is using the phrase “Is this in alignment with who I am or who I want to be?” or “Is this aligned with my highest self,” and get still, listen and trust that simple answer- yes or no. If it's going off on a tangent- or not clear and that ‘warm’ feeling I’ve described- it’s not it.
What do you think people misunderstand about intuition?
That we need to DOOOOOOOOO, or that they don’t have timmmmmeeeee.
It’s much more simple, safe and loving than most of us think. It’s not a thing that some of us have and others don’t. Not some magic, woo-woo voodoo. It's understanding the alchemy of your body, showing up for yourself and trusting what it's trying to tell you.
In what area of life are you flexing/developing your intuition these days, and how and why?
I think its a huge flex to literally not give an actual fuck anymore, like truly. Working with intuition, trusting myself more over the years has allowed me to gracefully release people pleasing tendencies that ruled so many aspects of my world for so long, and how I operated day to day. From events I attended, who I gave my time to, how I was in conversations and how I stand up for my children- I can now check in with my body, notice if its ego/anxiety- that will tell me if I a need to take a beat or not- or if its that simple, warm feeling that says “this is not right” or “I don’t like this”- then I’m saying something, or I’m not going!
I’m in the thick of it now man- I recently had to move back to my hometown after living across the country for a few years because a close family member was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. This meant uprooting the entire family unit, jobs, schools, LIFE again…shit is tough. I noticed that intuitive voice/feeling/knowing is showing up stronger that the anxiety! This is new. Anxiety, stress of course is super present in the hustle and bustle of life- but I can clearly see the difference, I don't WANT to move or do/deal with any of this- but that intuition is hitting- its calm in the background, “this is where you need to be.” I don’t like it. But the Trust that this is what I need to do for this next step in my journey is real- I’ll complain and whine about it- but I know my homegirl got me now.
Upcoming events!
I’ll be at Sob Sisters on April 7 at the 11th St Bar at 6pm alongside the resplendent Susannah Cahalan and Ruthie Ackerman. Sob Brothers allowed too.
Is it anxiety or intuition? Come find out IN PERSON on May 1 In Red Hook, Brooklyn!
EVERYDAY INTUITION launch at Powerhouse Arena on May 6!
Don’t forget to preorder Everyday Intuition!
Action shots from my Is It Anxiety or Intuition? workshop, sponsored by Women In Innovation. If you are interested in bringing this very useful, dare I say revelatory, to your workplace or social group, holler at your girl!
And the inbox is open for your vexing intuition/anxiety questions! Send ‘em my way!
And while you are April-is-the-curelest-monthing, might I recommend…
Noami Fry on the Baldwins, but actually Reddit, my community of scholars, on Hilaria’s enhancements.
Joan Didion on Martha Stewart.
Failed conversion therapy (with a side of Ranch) at Hooters.
American Murder Gabby Petito BUT I wish they’d gone harder on missing white woman syndrome!!!