Constructive Criticism
CW: bathroom situations; nothing to do with t*e e******n
Like everyone, I’m
I have no answers or wisdom so I’m just going to tell you a funny story.
A few weeks back I was going to my local library to pick up my holds. The Brooklyn Public Library and its holds system is my forever recommendation—I used it so much for my forthcoming book that I thank it in the acknowledgements!
ANYWAY there I was, locking up my bike in front of the entrance when it became clear that I needed to make haste to the restroom. (I have a sensitive tummy, sue me.) Fortunately, I was at the PUBLIC library, I communicated to my bowels, a most opportune locale to find oneself in at such a moment. So, to the ladies’ room I went. I pushed open the first stall door and it was yucky. Same with the second. But don’t forget, I was a ticking time bomb, so the next available stall would just have to do.
[insert whatever you think happens next]
And suddenly, a voice from the stall to the left of me: WOW, said the (understandably) disgruntled voice. She went on:
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO [****] IN THE STALL RIGHT NEXT TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE THE WHOLE BATHROOM?!
Now mind you, this admonishment was coming in the form of direct address from mere inches away. I could not see the speaker but given the inclination to engage with one’s fellow library patron in such a context, I had my suspicions as to the person’s wellness, though not her taking issue with the proceedings. When you’re right you’re right. Had the roles been reversed, I would’ve found myself thinking (though probably not shouting) the very same thing. However, the fourth wall of civility had been demolished. I felt badly for her predicament, but was simultaneously experiencing a wild sense of relief and vitality, having just reigned victorious over a potentially untoward incident. So, against better judgment and social convention, I responded.
“Uummmm yeah sorry, it was, like, an emergency situation and there weren’t other options—”
“WOW!” the voice cut me off. She was not impressed with my reasoning, and in an act of searing clairvoyance, she clocked my trademark defensiveness, a lifelong affliction and generational inheritance I am working desperately to shed, with such precision that Orna Garulnik would drop dead:
“WOW! Some people just can’t take constructive criticism!”
She wasn’t a raving lunatic in the public library; she was an angel sent to help me grow. I bow to her. But not all angels can be faced. I hung out in the stall and waited for her to wash her hands and depart. I did the same and slunk out, collecting my holds, humbled, and read for absolute filth.
As we take to the bed or when we begin to scrape ourselves from the floor, might I recommend:
Conclave: I saw this in the most sublime circumstances—in a recliner, next to my sister, eating shapes. So this movie is technically about an election but the performances are so transporting you might forget all else for a moment, maybe.
Shapes deserve their own line item of recommendation. It’s just a softer peanut butter and a more pleasing proportion, I don’t know how else to describe it!
These very easy to make energy bites are a health girlie’s shape. They’ve been giving me that little afternoon boost and satisfying my sweetie tooth.
Breath of Fire: A docuseries about Kundalini yoga and Katie Griggs, aka Guru Jagat.
Rachel made this dip for Shabbat dinner last Friday and I’ve yet to stop thinking about it.
This piece has been making the rounds and I find it helpful.
Nelly and I went to Bathhouse last Friday, a belated birthday celebration that had been on the cal for weeks. I don’t know why we ever left, honestly. Phones are forbidden in the downstairs sauna area and the thing I observed is how easily everyone parted with their devices, and how happy they looked doing so. Even the very young and good looking patrons seemed so untroubled and even lightened without the devil’s rectangle within their reach. It was/is a great time to be away from one’s phone. Go for the sweating, stay for the freedom.
A dispatch from the worst job in the world.
This conversation with Isabel Allende is grounding and inspiring.
I finally succumbed and bought a pair of the shoes favored by sex symbols everywhere.
Brooke is going to be so mad I’m telling you this, but we’ve been using the lobby of a certain hotel (I shan’t name names) as our co-working space and let me tell ya: It smells good! The people watching is epic! Free apples! Natural light! A plant wall?! It is only a matter of time before we are invited not to return.
