How’d that work for clickbait?! As Everyday Intuition inches closer toward reality I’m working on upping my marketing game. How’d I do? More on that and real life below.
But in the meantime, here are some dispatches from very unreal life. It is a truth universally acknowledged that you too can be a hottie if you have unlimited financial resources and the below is photo proof positive. I hope to sell a great many books and whatever other snake oil if only to retain the daily services of Sara Glick and Anthony de los Santos who made me feel like Queen for a Day. And really it was one (1) day, as this is my visage as I write this from my local on Friday morning.
It really was the magic of one Sylvie Rosokoff who brought out all my smize. Sylvie is the lavender-haired queen of author photos and elopements, and if you are planning either or just feel like capturing the glow of your youth cuz you ain’t getting any younger, enlist her services at once. She is a doll and made me feel like this. All work Sylvie’s!!!
Behold, the contenders:
Preparing for my 20/20 interview as scorned woman entering second act.
Don’t let the folksy kitchen table and crossed-arm pose fool you—this is SERIOUS because it is in black and white!
Off to get baptized/join a cult!
The picture I will use when I inevitably pitch Goop.
And the winner!!!!
Look, is this the most *intellectual* portrait in the history of publishing? No. But my book is all about doing what you want, and I’d be a fool to be looking down the barrel of perimenopause and not use a photo that makes you wanna say HELLO DOCTOR. And when my husband changed all the contact info pics of moi on his phone to this one, that sealed the deal. (One detractor thinks that this is giving “horny Germans of the Third Reich” but whatever.)
Liz’s Real-Life Corner (I’m totally nabbing this feature from the brilliant Jen Glantz, subscribe to her Monday Pick-Me-Up at once):
Listen, I’m reminded yet again just how humbling the process of translating the ephemera of your brain into coherence in the real world is. Everyday Intuition comes out on May 6, 2024—pre-order spam coming soon!- and I recently told a PR girlie that I want to be That Girl when it comes to intuition. She, very kindly, told me that when you google my ass not a single thing about intuition comes up. (Want to fake your death though? I’ve got you covered.)
To that end, I’m going to be angling this here newsletter more toward intuition in the coming weeks. Don’t think you care a fig about intuition? WRONG! This wonderful faculty touches every single facet of life and is a robust fun thing to think about. I’ve been doing just that for two-plus years and have yet to tire of it. So stay tuned for more consistent dispatches of intrigue from the reporting trail, mini-profiles of intuitive geniuses, and tips and tricks to help you answer the mother of all questions: Is it anxiety or intuition? And you can run, you can hide but you can’t escape my…
RECOMMENDATIONS!
That will never change, babe.
Wedding People by Alison Espach: A sweet little beach read for the waning days of Summer II.
Girls rewatch: This was my comfort show over the summer and goddamn it is so funny and ahead of its time. Season five (Marnie and Desi’s wedding, Fran, Shoshanna in Japan, Adam and Jessa’s relationship) is sublime.
Caity Weaver on the humble penny: I’d read her on the nickel, the Susan B. Anthony dollar, monopoly money, anything.
The Light Eaters by Zoe Schlanger: I give this book my two highest endorsements—I was mad with jealousy reading it because it’s so damn good AND the subject matter itself might not immediately resonate with you but the writing and reporting is just knock-you-off-your-chair fantastic that you are now shunning the notion of domesticated plants entirely and having full-on conversations with every tree you pass.
Connie Chung on Fresh Air: Especially the parts about her marriage to Maury. Terry will always have my heart but let’s face it this is Tonya Mosley’s show now.
Big Fan by Alexandra Romanoff: A polemic on universal basic income masquerading as a romance novel. A delicious bonbon you can devour in a single sitting.
This spicy butternut squash chickpea recipe that Margaret made me when Theo was just a few weeks old. Maragret also CLEANED MY BATHROOM when I was like two weeks postpartum which is and remains the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, and a vision that I will absolutely visit in my deathbed montage. If you find yourself at a loss for what to get someone who has recently had a baby, save your money and just show up and clean their bathroom. Anyway, I made this recipe recently and it always reminds me of those tender days. It’s paywalled, so here’s a screenshot.
There’s a man who plays trombone in the middle of the day on the corner of Bond and Schermerhorn. He brings such joy and vitality to that intersection of human suffering.
The pancakes at Patti Ann’s. I was considering doing another Whole30 but those pancakes have cemented my marriage to gluten.
The Onion, in print, mailed to my home: Heaven. I will support this analog venture indefinitely.
This is very much for Bravoheads only, but Dame Brian Moylan has a joke about Alexis Bellino in a recap of RHOC that made me guffaw. Re Jesus Jugs: “She’s so dumb she got a ‘John 3:16’ on her SATs.” I bow down.
This profile on Bowen Yang, especially on the complicated dynamics of fame with his bestie and national treasure Matt Rogers.
And this poem, which just happened to be blessedly on the same page as the Yang profile.